me and my todays

where and when did i get so lost in  living the life that i loved and cherished every bit of it......
where did i lose all the acknowledgements that my friends and foes sought out in me....
how did i embrace the simple comforts so easily that i drowned myself into it .....
when did i adapt to the unimaginable so recklessly that flushing it now seems like a tough nut......
preaching to 'let go' seems so easy but why is practically letting go so difficult....?
who and what have i become.........?
to all the things I've despised , cheers!!! i can see their reflections gazing at me....
to all the things i thought I'm not, well.............i am
i wonder how did i succumb to it so easily? was there so less to my will power or perhaps none at all?
the calender welcomes September ,the time of the month when i am to blow candles merrily when another year loses its way and me shrinking shallow....
i have blamed and blamed and now all the blame gazes back at me, for i have crumbled what i had
is it to late to mend it all? most importantly how hard it may be to mend it all?
oh!! how i wish i could travel back time.....if only, wishes were horses...

i still cannot figure out how did i get so lost in living my life...
that my presence now is nothing more than a mere existence......