happy holy-daze clearly.

wish you all happy holidays from my corner of the world. hope the rustic earth emerge open and kiss you when you are most dazed and confused.

quickly sharing the outfit that i wore today while i went out grocery shopping with the sister. its friggin cold here and bathing has become much like a chore itself.

xx

Dreams..

The winter chill seems to be seeping in quite recklessly anyhow if not for now then whence??

I'm back in the hometown (been 2 days) and apparently the winter carnival seems to be in a full swing here and people seem to be hurrying and scurrying about with my own home folks seeming all too eager about the events.  Initially, i was all geared up too and with all the social media hype it almost got me frenzy but then something happened (i don't know it myself) and then i resorted to the simple cliched line "because i don't wanna go coz there are people out there" and have just been lazing around at home indulging in this chill somewhat romantic, nostalgic kinda weather.
Home is all kinds of schmaltzy for me but the most difficult part is having to repress it and walk around as i'm the most unfazed being of all not that i would want to let it all out or find a solution for it coz the universal truth is such that we can never find solutions to many things in life and even if there are solutions then what? possibly drifting in the bleak world like everybody else.
Anyhow, i don't wanna go into all the bullshit my mind ravels into and just put forward my outfit post because i'm a lover and sucker for good aesthetics. Go ahead call me superficial .....
XX

WINDBREAKER.

Hello there...
I,ve really been meaning to come up with an outfit post for a long time so the other day, as i was rummaging through the winter aesthetics (since weather change at the place where i live in has been quite unpredictable) voila!! i came upon this windbreaker bomber jacket that i purchased 2 yrs back and i really needed to show it off take it for a walk so here it is....along with the jacket i've thrown up  some basic clothing  with my not so new hologram vans which still hasn't stopped giving me the shoe bites..yeah!!

Its such a shame that living in this side of the world restricts you from donning so many things that you secretively or non secretively wish to put together but more mortifying is the fact that you end up succumbing to these societal norms and end up limiting yourself not that giving a fuck and rebelling against it in any form is any sane advise  i'd like to give myself or anyone, specially in the country that we live in.

quoting below one of my all time favorites from Sylvia plath.
until next post'
xx

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.” 
--Sylvia Plath

Feelings

...and this man liked to call his better half a skylark and squirrel lovingly in the play i just read which got my brows raised and made me chuckle deep within probably in a sort of "whadafuck"

Its funny how awesome we can be whilst we give our own verdicts being the full fledged opinionated human beings that we are most of the times . 

I guarantee you if you ever come to me with your set of problemo i'd lather you with the best form of solution that i could possibly come up with. however, my array of confusion lies in that moment when we are ourselves caught up in that web and there's no way to come out of it and even if we can(in some cases) we just wish not to coz we love that web and that web is what keeps us going and that web, no matter how much threat it poses we just cannot deny it coz denying it would be denying our feelings, our sentiments and the deep arousal that it provokes from deep within and to deny these things would be to deny our own existence .

Sometimes, we can be so afraid of the reality of these feelings mostly terrified of the way we have to deal with all these haphazard emotions oozing out like a volcano  leaving you with a multitude of questions when reality check hits in, but then again, isn't even reality an illusion in some form ?
The reality which is being progressed, altered and accepted as per human suitability and sustainability and the fools that we are, nodding our heads and searching for the 'real' no matter how distorted real may be.

"there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people" --Vincent Van Gogh
 and art i suppose is infinite and limitless.....

SUMMER-TIME SADNESS

hello efficient people...
hope ya'all had a beautiful summer!!

I just returned  back to the campus from my own rather long-ish vacays and now that i'm back to the plains after such a long time, needless to say i still carry the hill jitters with me, both physically (temperature adaptations u see) but predominantly mentally and by mentally i mean to say that there is this whole inexplicable vibe humming around the corners of your being which frequently(has become frequent of late) questions your "yet again, now what-ness" kinda thing. I have no clue how many of you can relate with me here.

The holidays thrill that used to exist once upon a time kind of makes me wary these days, thinking of the fleeting time and tide and as we leap from one milestone to the other it does get tougher and despondent even. Ah!! good old days..

These last few summers,i remember coming back from the hills so much motivated to do better in every possible way i could but those motivation were soon overshadowed by the physical lethargies and god knows in every way u felt like a boss as if you had all the time in the world and duhh!!! wasn't life all about Carpe-Diem .

So basically, whats different about this summer-end is that its probably time to put an end to all that luxury of temporary motivation  and  just grill yourself or else 'YOUUUU....YOU NO GOOD'....i cant believe i'm saying this but geez!! the pressure I've been dealing with has been quite overwhelming and pardon me if i come out a little pessimistic but a friend rightly pointed out a few days back that "aren't things quite pessimistic and we keep trying to colour it up with our refined optimism to make our lives better" and danggg, it hit me coz hasn't it been that way most of the times.

and believe me, no matter how much we want to accept ourselves the way we are and let this world adapt to our being and read all that cool self help things that empowers you for being who you are and the ways of the world ,in the end somehow or the other we all want to be comprehended even if it be in some minutest detail of your heart which brings us back to being the refined optimists...

You see...euphemism did not just pop out like that and whorehouses are known as equivocal neighborhood for a reason.
who can deny we live in a mean little world which is not a wish granting factory as someone rightly said.

p.s- this is a very personal based opinion, you are totally free to vary.call it the twenties taking its toll on me.

oh!!BTW,i'm also doing an outfit post,something that i'm quite fond of but makes me think a millionth time before i do so,anyways below it is and many thanks to my lovely friend Azuali for taking these pictures.

yours truly...

The comfort zone

comfort so profound
slowly creeping within all our system
momentarily seeming like a blossom 
when in fact this blossom is  just a wild creeper. 

The more we stroll in this specific garden
the more we are limiting ourselves.
aligning and creating boundaries,
eventually we become the toads 
that we warned our friends about.
and its probably late when we realize that.
oh! how i wish i could overcome that.

non-thinker

Across the humdrum of chaotic lives
i go searching for my self, the kind of self
where we are sure about who we are and what we want
a thousand rules to live by and million norms to adhere to
i don't know know what all to comply with and what not to
i shook my head in approval when i want to scream my gut out
someone asks my opinion on the fastidious human ways
and i dismiss by the verb of coming out as a 'non-thinker'
i'm too scared to let it all out, will i be  an outcast then?
but more than that i don't want my voice to go unheard
so i better shut the fuck up
people are busy making judgments
and everyone seems to be conformists coz
our education system maligns us to form an opinion
if we come out as a critic with a strong head or
vouch in support with a stronger head,
its done, we are playing the part fairly well
i wonder sometimes can we not just enjoy what the platter has to offer
but ironically to play the part fairly well , we have to again form an opinion
and opinion comes with digression and stabbing inside out
i'm so sick of playing the part myself and even if i want to slam it shut
where would i land up, most probably,
in the humdrum of my own chaotic life

catharsis

filled with so much hatred
i swore a lot,cursed a lot
went violent as i could
and rebelled in my own form

but now...
i just feel pity for them
but its not the bad pity
all hail, its the good pity

and when i attained this feeling
it made me realize how fortunate i am
to have learned  and escaped from it
all i say now is
god bless them
Amen

midnight musings

They say love yourself
who says we don't, we all do
its the untamed self in us
that we loathe to the core

They preach us about hatred
but how would they know that the heart
when spattered into million flicks
remains with nothing, but a remorse hatred

They tell us to break free
do you think we wouldn't want to
sometimes we want to rip and open apart
but what would we actually open up to
the new paths seems bleak and blurry

2014 revelry

This would make my first official 2014 post which has been going great so far , me indulging in life's simple revelries or maybe getting wiser with age.
I can only thank god for all the glorious things that i have in my life and to all those haphazard that was shoved out to me did beguilingly sum up for the better existence that i lead.
So cheers to the new year( i know its kinda late but anyways)  lets all vow to laugh a lot and love a lot coz in the end that's what makes the difference and if your're not much of a laughing figure like me then lets all try to see things and understand ; hear things and understand....
coming back to the post i would like to share my o.o.t.d along with some beautiful scenic captures .You see, i cannot help it , my campus is beautiful.
hallelujah'