non-thinker

Across the humdrum of chaotic lives
i go searching for my self, the kind of self
where we are sure about who we are and what we want
a thousand rules to live by and million norms to adhere to
i don't know know what all to comply with and what not to
i shook my head in approval when i want to scream my gut out
someone asks my opinion on the fastidious human ways
and i dismiss by the verb of coming out as a 'non-thinker'
i'm too scared to let it all out, will i be  an outcast then?
but more than that i don't want my voice to go unheard
so i better shut the fuck up
people are busy making judgments
and everyone seems to be conformists coz
our education system maligns us to form an opinion
if we come out as a critic with a strong head or
vouch in support with a stronger head,
its done, we are playing the part fairly well
i wonder sometimes can we not just enjoy what the platter has to offer
but ironically to play the part fairly well , we have to again form an opinion
and opinion comes with digression and stabbing inside out
i'm so sick of playing the part myself and even if i want to slam it shut
where would i land up, most probably,
in the humdrum of my own chaotic life