ricocheting

I live in my own little world…

Sometimes, it's passionately chaotic,

Sometimes the pattern of boredom swivels me

Many times, the milieu of repetitive nature of life

hits me rock-bottom.

I look around me and feel so grateful for the life I lead.

I take a step ahead and feel so spiteful for the way things have got to be.

There is a terrible confusion that engulfs me,

I look at the simple minds around me and envy their absorption toward life.

Vehemently sure about the choices they are making and path they are leading

Oh Smrii, you read Plath for all the wrong reasons,

You don’t really wanna be the passionate, fragmentary girl. Do you?

Perhaps, if I had only known myself a little better

I wouldn’t ricochet between the perhaps and maybes.

Perhaps, if only my ever questioning, contradictory mind were to be stable

I would lead a more certain life.

Perhaps, if I could only have a strong want for something,

I would live a more fulfilling life working hard to get that.

But would I really want to break free from the freedom’ of not wanting anything?